If you had told me two years ago that I would be writing about my spiritual journey and my faith life in the Church bulletin I would have thought you were thinking of a different Kenny Miller. Yet here I am, and I couldn’t be happier and prouder to be able to do this. Two years ago, it was not my plan to be where I am today in my journey as a Catholic, but it certainly was God’s plan. I had no real “plan” if you will when it came to my faith. I had all the plans you could imagine about my future financially, my career, and the future of my family, but when it came to my faith I had not even thought about a plan. I went to Church on most Sundays, and I prayed when I was suffering or needed something from God and that’s about it. From the outside it appeared everything was going great. I had a great job as a lawyer, steady income, nice house and cars, beautiful wife and two healthy and happy little girls, but something still felt off. I still felt anxious most days worrying about the future and having regrets about the past, still suffered from bouts of depression, and still felt like I had to act a certain way to fit this image of what being a man should be.
Then, around two years ago, I ran into a guy I knew from high school who was also now a St. Catherine dad. We would talk at drop off in the morning and one morning we got on the topic of our faith. I enjoyed our conversation and thereafter, we began to meet over coffee and discuss Jesus and read scripture, both of which were completely outside of my comfort zone. As time went on, I slowly became more and more interested in my faith and prayer life. It was like the pilot light that had been lit but just flickering inside of me for my whole life was now getting turned up. Then, I heard about the Men’s ACTS retreat that was new to St. Catherine Parish and I decided to go.
The experience of the ACTS retreat turned that flickering flame into a full on roaring fire. The ACTS retreat met me where I was on my faith journey and in my life. No one was looking down on me for not being able to quote scripture, no one was judging me for my past, no one was comparing their financial status or bragging about how important they are. Most of us on the retreat, myself included, didn’t really know what we were looking to get out of the retreat, but God knew. For the first time in my life, I realized I’m not the only one dealing with these things and I have a savior in Jesus Christ for those times when I mess up. I realized there were numerous other men in this parish that were dealing with the same day to day struggles as me, there were other men in this parish that had the same questions I had when it came to their faith, and there were other men in this parish that felt the same pressure to uphold this image we think we must have to fit in or be viewed as successful. Learning these things, creating friendships with men of this parish, and deepening my relationship with Jesus on the retreat finally brought the missing piece of the puzzle to my life. I left the retreat finally having peace within my heart.
The struggles and challenges of day-to-day life didn’t magically disappear because of the retreat. However, I am now armed with the spiritual tools and brothers in Christ to handle these challenges and remain at peace within my heart. I now attend mass regularly and enjoy being there. I pray daily and live a life of gratitude. I am for the first time in my life comfortable with being the real me and not acting in a certain way to uphold an image. I am grateful for the gifts that God has blessed with me instead of worrying about what I don’t have. I strive for excellence in my career, but I appreciate where I am and what I have accomplished. I still fall short and have my bad days, but that’s ok. When I do fall short, I go to confession and God forgives me of my sins. All in all, life is much more enjoyable and fulfilling. My life with my amazing wife and kids is greater than it’s ever been. So that’s a snapshot into my faith journey. It’s a lifelong journey and I’m excited to see what God has in store for me next.
There are numerous ministries at St. Catherine. ACTS Retreat is certainly not the only one, but it was the one I chose to dive deeper into my faith and thank God I did. If you are reading this and feel that same sense of something is missing like I did or if you are deeply engaged in your faith but want to strengthen it even more, take a chance and try out the ACTS retreat. And don’t forget how simply reaching out to one person and sharing your faith can change their life forever.
Let Go and Let God!
God Bless